Ordinary (Valentines) day

Saurce by: https://www.moneycrashers.com/anti-valentines-day-ideas-hate-holiday/

Hello! How’s your Valentines day?

I start realizing the true meaning of Valentine’s day just earlier when I got my way home after buying some bread at the Laurie’s bakeshop. The weather was horribly mean so I stayed an hour or two at the waiting shade, trying not to look creepy alone in the shade while others are passing by on vehicles and cars. Ten minutes after the arrival, I saw an old man walking rashly toward me with a flower and cake on both hands, smiling as if there’s a benefit bathing on the rain, rather appreciative knowing the waiting place was empty. Upon arriving, he was startled to see my silhouette in the corner of the place, meanwhile find it amusing when he off his hat and smile at me cordially, whilst I put a grinning face back to him. For the past thirty minutes, we became friends and talk to each other casually as if talking to an older man was just a usual thing.

I asked him about the flowers and cake, of where did he bought it, and why did he effort to go outdoors to buy such an angelic rosses. “I have a farm and small garden in it, five minutes away from this place, everyday, after my work, I pick 3 flowers and gave it to my wife.” replied of my friend. I was amaze by his devotion and loyalty to his significant partner, though partially guilty because I know I’m not as good as he is when it comes to relationships, so I asked again why would he do that every daily, is saying something nice like “I love you” isn’t enough? “love isn’t just saying I love you, it’s about showing intimate love physically and spiritually. I think that’s the reason why numerous partners nowadays aren’t capable of long term relationships. they just settle for what is less and think it’s enough as long as you feed them.” I was speechless for a minute after he said those words of wisdom and began to think of the past relationships that I had, regretfully reflecting how did it breakdown all of a sudden, without me figuring out what’s the cause. But now the answer was given, not by others, rather me.

The rain stopped and we both parted as we ought to, saying kind words to each other as if we’ll never see each other again. I was so proud of our momentary conversation that I didn’t even realize to ask for his name, so I named him as “old friend” my own instead. And that’s how the rain taught me a lesson about maturity in all sort of relationship.

Emotional Breakdown: (essay Writing Contest)

“Life is too long to avoid your feelings”. That’s what quarantine taught me in this doomed year, well, he’s not done yet. Do you ever felt like opening your jaw to tell a story but there’s no sound coming out into your mouth? Or do you ever felt strong than ever before for handling the overwhelming shit in your life? What about pretending to be strong to look normal in public? Well, if you did, that makes the two of us. If you’re reading this, perhaps you are in a room, in an office, or wherever you are, reading a whole bunch of essays from talented students usually about how “life is good” to them or maybe about being grateful to have a perfect family, or about pursuing their careers in singing, dancing, sports, making YouTube content, writing, and all the things that a teenager might do. That is what a good, interesting essay to read about. However, I am not here to make an impression, or to be a role model, or merely for fun to join this contest. But, I am here to tell a story.

We all have different stories to tell. About life, following our own Personal Legend, surviving from a terrifying accidents that somehow we experience, being trapped in our own cage, and even stories about love. But the real story here is about uncertainties, darkness, solitary, and isolation, we all feel lonely right now. All the grief and loss of people around us makes as a psychic numb—we withdraw our attentions to what is going on in our world– all the people who died from disasters and Covid-19 pandemic. I hate to say this but the more people died the less we care about it.

 We’re all Exhausted because of this “new normal” thing; the unusual type of education, paper works, activities, we don’t even have a space to grow. Anxious about what’s going to happen in our career after five or ten years from now. Confused about where to give a fuck about everything. With the limited resources, we barely see the future in posterity.

One of the things I learned during this pandemic is that intimate relationship with our love-ones is the most significant thing in the world. Not seeing my grandma every day feels like in a prison, not holding the hands of the one who took care of me since day one feels loneliness. But in every circumstances there’s always a silver lining lying behind it. Being alone, far from home, I was able to feel intimate to myself. I began to listen to what my heart have been trying to say all those years and I neglected it. I become profound and see what’s my Personal Legend is.

Government Sucks (so do we)

I’m sick of seeing my social media filled with horrible things made by horribly people. they criticize government superiors from their mistakes and actions. Though, only one side of the story were reveal then. Posting “memes” that were so disgusting to imagine; edited photos to look humorous and entertaining. Publicizing their lethal judgment about the latest “political issue”.

That was so unethical…

In my country— Philippines is over democratic country, people abused their freedom to harass anyone whenever, wherever they want. Just like a sniper terrorist waiting for the enemy a hundred miles away. don’t try to argue with them otherwise they’ll bark! and bark! and bark! till you stop then got pissed. I remember watching video from twitter; the man (in the video) said the words that is so painful then alarming; “whoever can kill the president will reserved one million”. Luckily, the ungrateful man got arrested the next morning, full of regrets and begging for forgiveness.

I grew up publicly. My father was a member of the town council and at the same time my Mother was a president of the municipal health office back then. I saw the inside world of the politician at my early age. They did some nasty absurd things behind the stage (e.i.. corruption). Perhaps, karma is inevitable. Since my Mother died shitty things happened to my family like a domino effect; People start seeing the bad side of my fathers point of view then, they became visible to everyone, rumors were everywhere. Not to mention me for all the kind of affliction I’d been dealing since the day my mom died. Unhappily, the next campaign as expected, my father didn’t won.

We all commit mistakes and regrets. We tried to avoid criticism but still we do awful things. We tried to avoid pain but still, pain is unavoidable. We hide our “demons” at the back but still their were people behind our back.

Before we react hysterically, at least try to be them for one day or two. Imagine if you were in their shoes and fancy cloths and then, maybe we can show empathy and understanding a little bit.


thank you so much for reading!!!

Average student🤦‍♂️

You read it right. It’s me.

Here I am trying hard to be a blogger, since it’s free and people were very supportive, enthusiast.

Less destructive from invironment.

More peaceful than ever before.

Like in the close room you can hear flow of your blood circulating through your ear.

A student who barely even spell my “teachers name”

Yeah it’s me, not trying further in making progress at school.

School that gaves special privilleges if you have skills and supportive folks.

A student who doesn’t have a talent nor accomplishment.

Who cares about me? Is there anyone?

Guess what?

Turns out I care about my self at all, more than anything.

I percieve my handicuffs that makes me, me.

I have nothing to show more than others.

However, that doesn’t make me a superfiacial nor shallow person.

It makes me greedy and envy human being.

Sooner or later the hurricane fade away leaving us mess.

Then we start all over again.

In the midst of mediocrity

A Grandmothers palm

The kindhearted, honest, religious, pure woman I’ve ever have since childhood up untill now. It’s defferent to nurtured by a grandmother; The expert of all the sort of tactics in parenting a child.

You held my hand everyday guiding me towards the wickedness of living. Usher me across aisle of temptation and inclination. Took me home after running a mile in contrary side of the road. Embrace me despite my peculiarity.

Since my mother died when I was like ten months old my grandmother become my diaper cleaner, fed me with an extra supervision.

The intimacy between us that offer a keen existence of living. My first teacher in memorizing the “hail mary”(she knew all of it).

“Don’t tell your siblings” is the words that made me grin from ear to ear as it indicate the second move which is the “twisted money” behind my back.

Each of my nasty, embarrassing secrets of my teenage life I share to my “Mama”.

Hugging her everyday when she woke up is the magnificent relief medicine for the painstaking rough period.

“You dont really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother” -Albert Einstein

Dread loop: a poem (2)

Are we safe”

Superficial, shallow, reliant, narcissistic, you know what I mean.
People who adapt others way of mechanism.

Depending on what is norm in the mortal system.

Creating shits from what is trending to appear notable in our nasty internet.

consistently checking the social media for the latest sarcasm government.

Politics, superiors, leadership, deplomacy, who are they?
What do you know about them, who are they?

If its you, are you sincere to your loyalty in serving your mankind?

Are you the sort of person who sleep with the hands full of money?

how can we sense a riddle of your dirty game without a clue?

Perhaps, it is all the confusion and bewilderment that tolerate us from mediocry.

Timid, meek, fearful, dumb, this isn’t you.
They’re too far from the crowd of privilege.

Their voice barely perceive from the above.

Hungry and desperate for appreciation in significance.

However accepct what they recieve from the society without complaint.

It’s awful when you realized that pandemic isn’t the thing that will end you.

We can avoid and prevent the recognizable affliction.

Sooner or later it will come to an end.

But the nature of mortal chaos is inevitable endlessly.

Inevitable death: the unsolve murder story of Nanang Tuyang.

Healthy, independent, hardworking, generous old woman. That was the suitable words that shapes’ Nanang personality back then. Not to mention her 4.6 feet height and completely white color hair with a store in front of her huge house. Although, frankly, she often got angry to her customer every time they were shouting at the store while she’s at the back of the house feding her hogs and piglets, she respond with a loud irate voice as if they did a terrible thing to interrupt her. Perhaps, the customers might understand the behavior of the old women because she’s alone in the house with enormous of responsibilities.

Nanang Tuyang was sort of kin to my folks. My grandfather said she was his third cousin and considered a part of the family, But even so there’s barely intimacy between the two due to some history issues way back then.

A very long time ago, Nanang adapted a teenage girl whom that worked at her store, and little by little become the heirs of all of her assets including the three hectares land that she accumulated and manage to bought by herself. But unfortunately, after 30 years the women and her son left Nanang as well as the bunch of money from the store then the cash box safe when they realized that they all got what they need. After then, almost ten years she lived all alone by her four cats and two dogs and a dozen of nasty piglets.

One sunday morning of May 20 2019 around 4:15 am; Nanang woke up early preparing to go to church 24 kilometers away from the town, then unexpected horrible thing happened to her. Later that morning almost 7:30 am, Uncle Fred arrived at Nanang’s house for their deal of breeding the hogs and to check his pet.

Ten minutes of ranging the bell and there’s no one responed behind the door even the dogs seemed silence as if there’s a tape around there mount, then Uncle Fred started to get confuse obout whats happening. Almost thirty minutes had past when finally, he decided to climb above the fence to check if the old woman is fine since the door was half closed and he’s certain that she’s still in there.

As he walked trough the porch he felt that something’s wrong going on in the house as the broken window glass become visible and the dogs seemed ailed. He stood up infront of the door, looked down to his feet and saw the two-by-two lumber blocking the door way. He buried his face half closed to the door and saw the lower body of Nanang lying around the floor dead, then he opened the door widely and saw the upper body leaning the side of the cushion full of blood and a kitchen knife buried straight in her throat, and broken tooth everywhere on the floor.

The news broaden faster around the town and people start talking about the incident, remembering how good woman she was to did something bad to her.

‘someone really want her dead’, said the police. ‘the store remained lock so there’s no sign of robbery. I mean, why kill the old woman at her house and took none. Unless you want something bigger than that.

Almost one and a half years had passed and still the murderer remained unknown. “The most awful thing about dying is to die alone”.